headlocked | high cloud disaster ot3 shit

You're a menace.

[disgruntled, but not sharp-edged about it. petting jing yuan with a sigh, eyes on blade.]

[Correct. There are so many nice things in there. He has to maintain his appearance and his softness!!

He is, somehow, intimidated by the washcloths more than by Blade apparently watching him sleep. But he's not moving, because he's busy melting into Dan Heng's pets.]

I think everyone knows how I sleep...

[As in: everywhere, all the time. But in truth, at home, he's always up late working... And then he crashes in a sprawl with his face in a lion's fur. As you do.]

I'm your menace.

[dan heng is going to have to get used to blade just Saying Shit.]

Your security systems are useless. Even your kid is a better deterrent. [he folds a washcloth neatly into a nice even square. and then pelts it straight into dan heng's face.]

You want to wash A-Yuan's hair or should I?

[the furious blush on dan heng's cheeks is probably not from the heat of the water. he gawks until he takes a washcloth to the face, which does at least snap him out of it.

he catches the cloth as it slides off his face.]

...I will.

My security is top of the line. You're just too good at your job.

[He complains at Blade, but with no real venom. Also, Dan Heng's blush is soooo cute. Jing Yuan cannot resist poking his cheek.]

You're both so eager to pamper me... Should I be flattered?

Maybe that just means you're the filthiest out of all of us.

[actually that would be yours truly since he'd been, you know. run through and everything. bits of blood and meat and stuff. unimportant!!

the look he gives dan heng might be called smug if you squinted.] Focus, Dan Heng.

[help?

he's not used to blade using his name, and now he's lucid it's really getting him emotionally? and he's being bullied? help.

silently tipping his head to eyeball the Bath Products, rather than engage. wait no that's also confronting. why are there so many?]

Objectively, I am the least filthy.

[Because these chucklefucks took more dick, gave more dick, and came more often than him. He was having fun playing support.

Hmph.]

[blade is quite suddenly all up in jing yuan’s space. he is holding the washcloth menacingly in a way that radiates either ive killed a man with a washcloth or i want to scrub you down then dirty you up again. unfortunately for blade these are the same emotions.]

Come on then, facing me. [he’s gonna try and manhandle jing yuan if he doesn’t move! and he twitches a little.] What’s taking so long, Your Grace?

...

Which do you use?

[helplessly]

All of them. ♥

[He's torturing Dan Heng on purpose, sry. It's how he's coping with BEING THREATENED WITH A WASHCLOTH.

But also he does as he's told because as previously established he likes this nonsense.]

[anyway blade is just going to insinuate himself between jing yuan’s thighs and - lean in, pressing against him, one long line of heated, wet skin - past him, to point out a bottle.

it looks mostly identical to the rest of them. the familiar edge of mocking is back, sorry dan heng.]

Do you know what shampoo is, Your Highness?

[snags the bottle, ears burning as he pours some into his hand.]

Obviously I do, but why are there so many?

[He could protest that there is absolutely no reason Blade needs to get between his legs for this, but. What's the point? Blade's probably still high on dragon dick so they may as well just enjoy it.]

One for when it's dry out, for when it's humid, for when I have to style my hair formally so I get scolded to tame it... There's different scents for different moods, and different soaps for different places.

Also, I'm old and I need variety or I'll shrivel into a desiccated husk.

[listen the murderdog wants your lap and by nanook he’s going to get it.]

When you see him after he just wakes up you’ll understand.

[and while he’s this close he’s going to pick out body wash and also maybe bite at jing yuan’s ear because you know it’s there.]

Is it the fluffiness...?

[muttering, but since the initial dunking already soaked his hair nicely, dan heng starts working shampoo into it. he's no masseuse, the touch brisk and efficient. sorry.]

[And he fled having his back touched for what now???]

Mmph-- But I'm already sleepy...

[It's not a real protest, just a whine. He's already accepted that things will continue to happen in this bathtub, and he's gotten all flushed again accordingly.

Dan Heng may not be giving a massage, but it still feels nice to be touched that way, so Jing Yuan leans into it anyway. Despite the whining.]

Shut up, you’re always sleepy.

[there’s no real bite to it, either. blade scrubs his chest and arms down, but not as perfunctory as dan heng.

his touch lingers, warm. he also can’t help himself and fits his hands around jing yuan’s waist underwater…]

…it won’t always be like this. [he glances at dan heng as he says it.] We’ll be fighting again sooner or later.

[not by crossing blades at least. ok maybe a little.]

[his shampooing slows for a moment. then returns to the same utilitarian motions.]

So let us take care of you.

[There's a moment where Jing Yuan flinches at the reminder. He knows how it is with those who go off to battle, and thinking about it in the context of this relationship very nearly sends him down a spiral of risk-calculating anxiety. He only stops himself at the last half-second, expelling the feeling in a long-suffering sigh.]

I'm just saying I don't recover as quickly as you two. You're going to have me bedridden for a week at this rate.

[He's being fussy, and yet he's still going boneless under their hands. He likes being pampered very much when it's all close and personal like this. When Blade gets hold of his waist, he wiggles on purpose -- and also squishes his cheeks in retaliation.]

[are you a toddler stop it with the cheek squishing. but earnestly:]

What if I want you bedridden for a week?

[his hands slide down underwater to rest in the vee of jing yuan's hips. he's cleaning!! he is giving off the energy of a dog whose tail is thumping frantically on the ground.]

Both of you.

[pulling up a ribbon of water to rinse the shampoo out of jing yuan's hair without making everyone move too much.

pressing forward against the general's back.]

If it's like that, he may never leave the bed again.

Ah...haha...

[This is the awkward laughter of a man who's just now realised how much trouble he's gotten himself into. This retirement will not help his exhaustion at all, huh?]

Is it too late to beg for mercy?

[He asks as he drops his hands to rest over Blade's and leans his weight back against Dan Heng.]

You can beg for other things.

[he smirks at jing yuan. unfortunately between blade’s absurd healing factor and dan heng’s state of being The Most Baby, jing yuan is the geriatric man with creaky bones.

his washcloth dips down to slide along jing yuan’s thighs roughly. and because he can’t help it:]

You’re very energetic for a virgin, Dan Heng.

[he says it in the same way he croons dan heng’s name before he attempts to maim him.]

[shivers pleasantly (that's new?) and starts to hide his face in jing yuan's hair, except now it's soaking wet and not fluffy.

voice dry as he glances away, arms curving around jing yuan's ribs.]

I suspect that's repression.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject