cowboy crosstalk shenanigans

[lifeban]

[they've won! good job everyone! 10/10 performance! dan heng didn't even blow his once-in-a-lifetime bootycall button this time around, thanks to boothill's quick interference.

there was celebrating on the Express, but one way or another, the party wound up in the VIP lounge of the hotel again, where dan heng accidentally took a swig of boothill's drink and became Fantastically Drunk.

in fact, at this moment he's sulkily leaning into boothill's side, all his aloof and cool energy utterly abandoned.]

Comments

[motherfudger]

Two...

[His expression does a journey of surprised, horrified, and acceptance.]

Nevermind. Your case is hopeless.

[He flags the bartender.]

A tall glass of water for my compadre here. Then we're calling it a night.

[lifeban]

[shoving his face into boothill's (not particularly soft) shoulder, grumbling.]

S'not my fault you drink rocket fuel... I don't like altered- states of mind.

[haltingly like he's reaching for actual phrasing.]

[motherfudger]

[At least his shoulder has some padding, as one of the few parts of him actually covered by fabric. He mentally reminds himself "Down boy" and wraps an arm around Dan Heng's back to steady him.]

Face up partner, down your Adam's Ale and I'll help you back to the barn. You can tell me all about it.

[He lifts the water glass for Dan Heng.]

[lifeban]

Ale?

[in befuddlement, lifting his head.

but he gets it after a moment, just slower than he would have otherwise.]

Oh.

[leaning in to drink from the glass just. with it in boothill's hand.]

[motherfudger]

[Well. Okay. We're doing that. He helps Dan Heng get some water in him before setting it down.]

Trust you don't mind if we settle up later, barkeep. Got my hands full you see.

[And he's lifting Dan Heng into a princess carry. ]

[lifeban]

[



O//////O]

[motherfudger]

[Wow look at that blush. Shame the guy's three sheets to the wind.]

So what've you got against altered states of mind?

[Just making conversation while carrying him to the complimentary hotel room that finally got sorted. Closer than the express.]

[lifeban]

[sobers. metaphorically.]

I can't protect myself like that.

[motherfudger]

Well fudge, thought that you Nameless all had each other's backs. What's the story?

[lifeban]

We do. But I can't... protect them, like that, either.

[tucking his head against boothill's chest.]

I've only been a Nameless for a little while.

[citation needed, hashtag xianzhou folks]

What kind of guard am I if I can't protect them from my past?

[motherfudger]

Always on duty? Now if that don't sound fudging tiring. You ever take breaks?

[lifeban]

I stayed off planet for Penacony. Look what happened.

[bro being on standby isn't a Break and also what the fuck]

[motherfudger]

[Yeah]

What the fudge does that mean.

[lifeban]

...What do you mean, what does it mean?

[motherfudger]

That ain't no break I've heard of. Plus, what's with you thinking the mess had to do with you standing watch by the campfire?

[lifeban]

I could have been more help if I was there.

[just ignoring the first bit entirely.

also ignoring that being off planet is why he could help at all BUT, drunk.]

[motherfudger]

That so? Don't seem quite right.

[Don't argue with the drunk guy. He'll kick open the door.]

[lifeban]

[startles in his arms at the abrupt bang]

[motherfudger]

Whoa there, you really don't relax. I got ya. No reason to get tense.

[Kicking the door closed.]

[lifeban]

[twitches again, but shoves his head harder into boothill's chest.]

S'just. Loud.

[motherfudger]

Boy you ever relaxed in... well however many years you've been around?

[Walking to one of the couches to set him down.]

[lifeban]

...

[not answering is an answer in and of itself, but he's also kind of. clinging. no don't let go.]

[motherfudger]

[Oh. Well. Guess he's going to sit then. Otherwise he'll be stuck bending over this guy.]

So that's a never. You even know how?

[lifeban]

[arranging himself semi comfortably in this metal lap.]

...Not really.

[The Honesty of The Drunk.]

[motherfudger]

[Sure isn't the most comfortable lap. But given the way his body is built it's almost possible to imagine you're cuddling someone who is just 100% tense muscle instead of all steel. Almost. There isn't enough soft give even for that really. But though he's not initially warm to the touch he does warm up nicely where cuddled, rather quickly even, there's internal heat after all, so only the surface needs a bit of body heat to warm up.]

....

Well fork me.

[He puts a hand on his hat to keep it in place as he tilts his head back and stares at the ceiling. Nods to himself and the looks back down at Dan Heng, plucking the hat off his own head and putting it on Dan Heng's.]

Get some shuteye. I reckon it's gonna take some real elbow grease to sort you out.