headlocked | high cloud disaster ot3 shit

[some hysterical part of his mind is basically like: wow jing yuan didn’t know you had this kind of fucked-up bondage in you. he’ll needle the other man cruelly over this later, but for now- miraculously, he closes his eyes, panting as he lets jing yuan manoeuvre his limbs without actively hindering him.

his healing factor has started to kick in, too, and there’s the unsettlingly wet sounds of muscles trying to knit themselves together around the blade.]

Jing Yuan. [he croons.] Can I look? Can I look? Where is he? He did this to me and left me, did you see?

[Blade being so cooperative is really unsettling, actually. It's helpful, but it's alarming, because he doesn't understand why. Something about it seems to amplify those sick noises, and Jing Yuan feels guiltier than he expected.

That guilt only grows, listening to Blade talk. He hates it, but... on some level, he understands. He too clung to a false hope of meeting Dan Feng in Dan Heng's eyes. He too has felt abandoned and angry. In truth he still hasn't let go of all those feelings. He's just blessed with the sanity required to know they're irrational.

Yingxing was hurt so much more. Of course his mara has taken this form.]

...I did see. Yet Dan Feng has gone where neither of us can reach him, so I need you to stay with me. Choose me, just this once.

[He's not expecting to have that wish granted, but he's doing his best to defuse things. He's also taking that gag from Dan Heng and seeing if he can get it on Blade. But when he reaches for it, he also gives Dan Heng a sad yet very affectionate smile.]

And you, please don't blame yourself for what you've had no say in. Just trust me to protect you.

[he opens his mouth. pauses. just gapes like a particularly distressed fish. because he knows hearing his voice more right now will only make blade worse, and he's at least cooperating.

it all hurts so badly. for once in his life, he wants to give them what they want, who they want, but he can't. he can remember being that man in his dreams, but he'll never be dan feng. this is the first he's found that distressing. he wishes desperately that he could be what they need. that his past incarnation hadn't broken them all so badly and left dan heng with a mess he can't even fix.

on top of that... he knows intellectually that jing yuan has been looking out for him. the general got him out of the shackling prison and off the luofu. but right now, tasting blade's blood in the air and on his lips, hearing his own pulse pounding adrenaline through him, all he can think of is how people that protect him die. he's never been able to afford to keep track of the ships lost over the years, the bodies of acquaintances left floating in space. it's the only information he willfully refuses to collect. he doesn't want jing yuan to die. he doesn't want either of them to die.

dan heng snaps his mouth and eyes shut both, nodding jerkily.]

[blade laughs, gargling bright red arterial blood.]

I don't want you.

[his hands flex in the cuffs. his entire body is angled towards jing yuan, and he jerks upwards, sliding muscle and bone along the blade he'd forged by his own hands.]

If I wanted you, I would ruin you. I would tear you apart. And what would be left of the only good thing I can remember? I would break you like- like- Dan Heng-

[at the mention of dan heng, he starts using his own body as gory leverage to try and pull starfall reverie out of the floorboards, but he's lost enough blood that if jing yuan puts his back into it, the gag will go on easy.]

[When Blade says all that, Jing Yuan's face goes white. It's not exactly surprising, but it's such a harsh slap in the face it rattles him. For a moment, he's stunned by the rejection.

When that moment passes, he's furious.]

Since when have I been so fragile that I am better off left alone on a shelf than I am wanted and loved!?

[He uses more force than is probably necessary to get the gag on, keeping Blade down with his weight, and then takes hold of the glaive to shove it back down, heedless of any additional damage that's causing. He's aware this is all stressful as fuck for Dan Heng, but the same emotions that had Jing Yuan yelling at them before have boiled over again.]

I am Arbiter-General of the Xianzhou Luofu. I have survived things more frightening than you could ever be, and my will is a thousand times stronger than yours. You can tear me apart all you like, but you cannot break me, Yingxing!

[yeah, dan heng kind of wants to curl into a ball and die. maybe he'll go drown himself in the scalegorge. kick this particular can down the road.

jing yuan's rage is a lot to take in, but hearing blade say he broke him leaves him feeling lightheaded and brittle.

at least the gag is on. at least blade can't say anything more. but that means jing yuan is shouting at someone who can't argue back.

...it also means he has to do his part in this. jing yuan is keeping the beast horribly pinned, for him. he needs to-

dan heng hunches in on himself silently, but reaches down to try and coax his own cocks back to hardness. they have not taken this situation well.]

[but what if he did break? dan feng was the strongest person he knew but love was not enough for him to stay. love was never enough. love was a sick joke with a sharp edge whetted on his endless begging: please don't go. please let me go. please...

blade would not have known how to articulate this even without the gag. he goes down heavy against the floorboards, scrabbling against starfall reverie fruitlessly. his face is wet with salt, wounded, animal sounds crawling up his throat, but he keeps on trying to - reach for jing yuan. touch him.]

Stay down, you old fool. We're going to help you, like it or not.

[God this is painful. He's so! Mad!! Blade looks utterly pathetic right now, but Jing Yuan can't help but think that's not fair. Why can this man not just decide whether he wants to be here or not!?

...On the other hand, Jing Yuan loves Blade too much to go cold when he's so sad. He gives him one of his hands to hold, at least, as he looks over at Dan Heng.

Ah... they're all a mess, huh?]

...I'm sorry. Come here?

[the noises are terrible. at some point even the habitual stoicism of a high elder failed dan heng, and there are tears running down his face. he's still scared to make a sound. but he folds forward to tuck his face into jing yuan's shoulder, needy.]

[blade jerks violently when he sees the shape of dan heng’s horns, grip on jing yuan’s hand tightening painfully, but it seems like the contact grounds him just enough that he doesn’t struggle enough to injure himself.

instead: he starts panting, hips kicking upwards. it looks like he’s desperate for more contact, but whether it’s violent or not- well. one of them will have to get closer to find out.]

[The illusion of Dan Heng not being around is now destroyed, alas. It was going to have to be, eventually...

Anyway. Hey. Jing Yuan is still sitting on Blade's waist, so now he's getting bounced around which is quite rude and also makes him blush.

He will ignore it as best he can and give Dan Heng a one-armed hug. He kisses the top of his head, giving him the affection they honestly both need right now.]

You're alright, Dan Heng. If you don't want to do this, we can try to wait it out...

[the illusion is broken. might as well speak.]

No. I will.

[he lifts his head enough to look over jing yuan's shoulder at blade's cock. sighs.]

It would be easier if...

[if blade could get what he needed by fucking him. that feels far less objectionable or difficult right now. doesn't rely on him so much.]

I'll do it.

[blade, whose mara had subsumed the remaining scrambled egg of his braincells, seems to be trying his level best to do three things:

a) buck jing yuan off him
b) buck jing yuan on him
c) bleed out spectacularly on the nice wooden flooring

with a secret fourth option, which was d) lay hands on dan heng.

his movements start to turn sluggish, and he starts choking on his own blood, unable to understand he needs to spit it out.]

[WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS...

Fine. FINE. He gives Dan Heng another kiss and then yanks Starfall Reverie out of the floor and also out of Blade's body. He leaves him cuffed to it though. He'll just use the weapon as extra leverage when he sits back and pulls Blade upright.]

Breathe.

[blade's upper body is suddenly far closer to dan heng than he expected it to be, and he spooks like a hunted animal- which, well. that's pretty true.

he has his wits about him enough not to flee, but he goes still, stops breathing, still facing away from blade. the mane on his tail is all bristled out.]

[sorry jing yuan it’s like babysitting the world’s mangiest feral puppy.

blade makes a confused, guttural sound and spills blood down the bandaged gore of his front, which had already started to un-gore itself.

he then proceeds to try and grab dan heng, but on the account of being cuffed to a giant fuckoff glaive he just ends up pitching forward and falling against him, wheezing in a really wet fashion.]

[This utter disaster of a mandog... Jing Yuan is just going to sit on him more. But now he's straddling his thighs instead of his waist so it's kinda like having a great big irritated and very worried lap cat. And as we know, it's illegal to get up with a cat in your lap.

Also he's putting the glaive back in the floor without going through Blade's body now. With that done his hands are free, and he can use them to pet both his messy lovers at the same time. They're both freaking out and he has to at least try to help, because otherwise he might strangle Blade. Not Dan Heng tho. Dan Heng's the good boy. That's why he's getting reassuring cheek smooches.]

Look at him now, Yingxing. He is here, strong and kind despite what you've done. That's not a broken person. You, on the other hand, certainly are, so instead of carrying on about people who are gone and isolating yourself like an idiot, let us put you back together a little.

[And yes, he's using the old name specifically to be rude.]

[dan heng makes a sound a little like an especially creaky door hinge when blade's weight hits his back. he's a little bit wedged between them now, in spite of not technically being in blade's lap, in what is definitely an agonizing parody of earlier.

he sways into jing yuan, biting his lip bloodier still as he does his level best to hang on to every syllable of his words. and wraps his arms around him tightly. he's not going to run. he's not.]

[unfortunately. trying to strangle blade would turn him on even more. he really is Just Like That.

there's a horrid cracking sound - blade had broken a tooth on the ring gag - and for the first time, blade ignores dan heng in favor of violence upon someone else: he tries to headbutt jing yuan. you rude fucker.

he seems to be focusing better, but the attempt doesn't end up doing much, since most of him is busy trying to knit itself together, and he just ends up squashing dan heng between them, heaving great, pained breaths into his hair.]

[Hey at least Jing Yuan pissing him off is a distraction from Dan Heng...

He cannot help but wonder why it is that Blade seems uniquely able to shatter Jing Yuan's placid facade. Is it just that the person he is now is so frustrating, or is it his own subconscious wanting to fall back into childhood patterns? Yingxing also possessed that secret remote switch to turn him from sunny mischief-maker to petulant brat. What a terrible power to wield.

Fortunately for now Blade's bound and gagged and injured and uselessly flopping around, so Jing Yuan can ignore him in favour of returning Dan Heng's hug. He seems so scared... and reasonably so.]

He won't hurt you, Dan Heng. It'll be alright. I've got you.

[Dan Heng deserves a nice kiss. He needs to be able to not only calm down but get turned-on again and it's Jing Yuan's job to do that, since Blade is doing the opposite.]

[maybe someday dan heng can be horny about blade's bloodlust when they're not ill-advisedly soulbonded, but it's not going to be right now.

he shudders, feeling blade heavy and wet with his own viscera against his back and making terrible noises right by his ear. he clings to jing yuan and presses into the kiss with unhinged desperation. jing yuan said he's safe. jing yuan will protect him. he has to believe that. has to focus on the warm solid love in front of him and not the terror at his back.]

[he won't hurt dan heng, he says. how can he explain to jing yuan that some days, weeks, years, centuries, that is literally all he is, and he can't help it, because how else is dan ▮eng going to look at him?

blade pulls back, watches them. lists to the side slightly, pupils blown wide and tracking both of their movements, but giving off the air of someone not really seeing what he's focused on.

and then he sways back in to butt his head against dan heng, which is like being bunted by a very big wolf who just had its face in a fresh kill. sorry the vibes are pretty rancid.]

[Jing Yuan focuses on Dan Heng -- on giving him the most heated kiss possible, keeping him close and warm and skin-to-skin. When they break for air, he nips at his lower lip and runs light fingernails along his spine.

Also he lifts one hand from the hug to shove Blade away by his forehead. Down, dog.]

[he almost kind of sort of starts to relax a little, with the distraction of the kiss, then the headbutt hits and he jerks right back into tension so intense he's trembling.

his lip is already bitten bloody, so that nip is enough to draw more blood. he bites back, a little too hard with how worked up he is in all the wrong ways. pressed this close, jing yuan can feel his lengths have almost entirely retreated back into his vent.]

[jing yuan didn’t quite use enough strength to warrant it, but blade is uncoordinated enough to lose his balance and fall down, on his back, with an angry snarl.

this is all very confusing and his thighs flex underneath them with the urge for bodily harm (on himself or otherwise), but he does eventually subside - there’s still the soft, pained panting, as the mara lances white-hot through him, and he tries to curl on his side, an automatic reaction instead of any real attempt at self-soothing.

at least it’ll be (relatively) peaceful for a while.]

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