headlocked | high cloud disaster ot3 shit

[blade opens his mouth. closes it. opens it again. his battered goldfish impression is very good.]

Nnngh. [he grunts, but his eyes are a open little bit too wide, in a way that will be really familiar to dan heng: the prelude to disassociating straight into violence.]

[He takes a slow breath, rubbing his thumbs against Blade's cheekbones for a moment. He's all tuckered out and still foggy-headed, but this is important so Jing Yuan drags himself back to ground level.

After a moment he lets go of Blade's face, instead wrapping him in a gentle hug with one arm around his shoulders and the other running fingers through his hair.]

Shh, you'll be okay. We've got you. Just hold on a little bit longer.

[Then he glances up at Dan Heng with a somewhat sheepish expression.]

...Do you yet remember the secret Dan Feng once told me? About the blessing in the high elders body they've kept to themselves all these years?

[It's secret, because. Y'know. Not many high elders have fucked someone marastruck, and the exploitation they already suffered would gain a new level of horror if the knowledge got out. Jing Yuan being trusted enough to know was an immense rarity.]

[he's loathe to take his eyes off of blade even the slightest amount, but his gaze flicks to jing yuan as his brow furrows.]

I don't... think so?

[with the division of power between himself and bailu, he hasn't really wandered into many triggers for that specific memory or knowledge to bubble up. but he does understand, the depth of secrecy anything along those lines would be kept to.]

What is it?

[it’s startlingly easy to defer to jing yuan with the same amount of obedience dan heng could pull out of him, but even so, blade’s shoulders are frozen with tension, eyes tracking dan heng’s movements in a way that suggested hunger.]

I c’n leave. [he doesn’t actually move though, eerily still in jing yuan’s arms.]

Don't leave. I told you, I'm prepared for all sides of you. I will keep you and him both safe.

[Jing Yuan places a soft kiss at Blade's temple, doing his best to be a warm and comforting presence. Just a bit of love can't stop the mara, but he hopes it'll give Blade the strength to resist snapping for even just slightly longer.]

Dan Heng. If you want to help him, come inside of him. By mouth has more efficient absorption of the medicinal compounds you carry, but you may not want to risk getting bitten and the other option also works. Either way, I'd appreciate you handing me my weapon. And the cuffs, if you can stand to hold them.

[fight or flight brain has near-fully engaged, so it takes him a moment to. process. because while blade is watching him as a predator, he's just as aware of every tiny movement of blade's as his prey.

then he double takes.]

Wait, what?

[this is the dan heng that tried to suck blade's cock with great enthusiasm, and had the life half railed out of him by that same cock (with noted support), and then kissed the man messily right on top of jing yuan, but he still nearly squeaks as his blush comes back full force.

he visibly tries to rein himself in, tail thrashing in his embarrassment as he nods sharply and rises to his feet, reaching for jing yuan's glaive.]

[blade would have several thoughts about this revelation if he could actually understand it; as it is now, the only thing his poor mind could comprehend was jing yuan’s proximity and dan heng’s proximity, which had diametrically opposing effects on what little part of his brain that was not consumed by the haze of arousal or the haze of mara.]

Yuan’er. [that’s all the warning he’s getting, before blade suddenly thrashes violently, going straight for dan heng’s throat.]

[See this is why he wanted the cuffs. At least he's waiting for it to happen, so he can react instantly. He tries to hold Blade back, rolling them so he can straddle Blade's waist and pin him with those powerful thighs he likes so much and hands around his wrists. There's no point in talking to Blade now, so he just watches him while addressing Dan Heng.]

Your... emissions... have medicinal properties. They're a mild stimulant with equally mild risk of dependence, but Dan Feng once told me they can also slow or suppress mara. It's not a cure, but it can help keep it more stable. So please hurry up.

[i would like to state for the record that jy's weapon's name is midnight ungoogleable.

as the other two explode into motion, so too does he. that twitchy overawareness of blade has him near hyperventilation. he makes a tiny strangled noise and tosses over the glaive, then dives for the box.]

Will the cuffs even hold-?!

[blade snarls like a wild animal, but jing yuan’s weight and grip holds him fast, some subconscious part of his mind registering that no, blade shouldn’t hurt him. luckily for everyone involved, at this angle, he can’t see dan heng.

he bucks up. he’s bitten his tongue in a bid for lucidity. what the fuck were the other two men doing.]

- Yuan. Kill me-

They won't hold. They'll just make it easier for me to do something that will.

[How lucky for them all that Jing Yuan is capable of setting aside sentiment when something needs doing, even if it'll make him feel horrible after.

For example, he needs Blade to stay down, and he knows Blade can simply heal all wounds. So he lets go of one of Blade's wrists, catches Starfall Reverie when Dan Heng tosses it, and swiftly skewers Blade with it. It's fine. There's just a big ol' glaive going through his abdomen and into the wooden floor. It's not in an immediately fatal spot so really it's just a minor inconvenience.]

I will not kill you, Blade. Another death could be another little scrap of your heart torn away, and I refuse to be the one to do that to you. You must endure this.

[dan heng flinches so hard at- all of it, really, that there's a clatter in the toy box. it needn't be said how easy it is to take the words personally, and in spite of his own track record it's never brought him joy to stab blade. knowing who he is makes it worse. everything they've just done makes it worse.

but he bites his lip bloody (bloodier) and blinks away the wetness in his eyes. finds what they need and whirls to face them again, the cuffs in one hand and a ring gag in the other. he freezes, momentarily scruffed by the horrors of experience-- an injured blade is not a safe thing. the rising stink of his blood, so pleasant in small amounts on his tongue, now just makes it much harder to force himself closer.

still, he does. he brings himself closer through sheer stubbornness.]

[the familiarity of having a blade part his flesh is actually more comforting than anything. he'd never actually had this one, though, and blade can almost taste the lightning under the blood flooding his mouth. against all odds, he gets fucking harder, which really says something about how fucked-up he is.

he coughs wetly, turns his head so he doesn't asphyxiate. starfall reverie is as heavy as he remembers and he's pinned like a butterfly even as the mara surges against his ribs.]

I don't want to hurt y-

[dan heng comes into his limited field of vision and blade's vision goes red. he goes quiet in the dangerous way predators do when they're tracking small prey. he starts giggling.]

Dan Feng. Dan Feng- do you remember-

[What the fuck, Blade?? Please. That's neither the sexy shaft nor a place where the sexy shaft belongs.

Cannot believe this shit is going to be my retirement.]

Don't look at him yet.

[Jing Yuan takes his hand from his glaive, and puts it over Blade's eyes for a moment, in an attempt to interrupt his train of not-thought.]

Keep your eyes closed til I'm done.

[Blade is probably too far gone but it never hurts to take an authoritative tone.

He lets go to take those cuffs, then drag's Blade's hand to the weapon. The chain on these cuffs is made to break, but the leather and buckles are solid. The solution, therefore, is to take the chain out of the equation.

In other words he's cuffing Blade's hands to Starfall Reverie's pole. Good luck with that one.]

[he can't contain his wounded little sound when blade uses that name with madness in his eyes. fuck. fuck.

kneels there, woodenly, trying his best not to flee.]

[some hysterical part of his mind is basically like: wow jing yuan didn’t know you had this kind of fucked-up bondage in you. he’ll needle the other man cruelly over this later, but for now- miraculously, he closes his eyes, panting as he lets jing yuan manoeuvre his limbs without actively hindering him.

his healing factor has started to kick in, too, and there’s the unsettlingly wet sounds of muscles trying to knit themselves together around the blade.]

Jing Yuan. [he croons.] Can I look? Can I look? Where is he? He did this to me and left me, did you see?

[Blade being so cooperative is really unsettling, actually. It's helpful, but it's alarming, because he doesn't understand why. Something about it seems to amplify those sick noises, and Jing Yuan feels guiltier than he expected.

That guilt only grows, listening to Blade talk. He hates it, but... on some level, he understands. He too clung to a false hope of meeting Dan Feng in Dan Heng's eyes. He too has felt abandoned and angry. In truth he still hasn't let go of all those feelings. He's just blessed with the sanity required to know they're irrational.

Yingxing was hurt so much more. Of course his mara has taken this form.]

...I did see. Yet Dan Feng has gone where neither of us can reach him, so I need you to stay with me. Choose me, just this once.

[He's not expecting to have that wish granted, but he's doing his best to defuse things. He's also taking that gag from Dan Heng and seeing if he can get it on Blade. But when he reaches for it, he also gives Dan Heng a sad yet very affectionate smile.]

And you, please don't blame yourself for what you've had no say in. Just trust me to protect you.

[he opens his mouth. pauses. just gapes like a particularly distressed fish. because he knows hearing his voice more right now will only make blade worse, and he's at least cooperating.

it all hurts so badly. for once in his life, he wants to give them what they want, who they want, but he can't. he can remember being that man in his dreams, but he'll never be dan feng. this is the first he's found that distressing. he wishes desperately that he could be what they need. that his past incarnation hadn't broken them all so badly and left dan heng with a mess he can't even fix.

on top of that... he knows intellectually that jing yuan has been looking out for him. the general got him out of the shackling prison and off the luofu. but right now, tasting blade's blood in the air and on his lips, hearing his own pulse pounding adrenaline through him, all he can think of is how people that protect him die. he's never been able to afford to keep track of the ships lost over the years, the bodies of acquaintances left floating in space. it's the only information he willfully refuses to collect. he doesn't want jing yuan to die. he doesn't want either of them to die.

dan heng snaps his mouth and eyes shut both, nodding jerkily.]

[blade laughs, gargling bright red arterial blood.]

I don't want you.

[his hands flex in the cuffs. his entire body is angled towards jing yuan, and he jerks upwards, sliding muscle and bone along the blade he'd forged by his own hands.]

If I wanted you, I would ruin you. I would tear you apart. And what would be left of the only good thing I can remember? I would break you like- like- Dan Heng-

[at the mention of dan heng, he starts using his own body as gory leverage to try and pull starfall reverie out of the floorboards, but he's lost enough blood that if jing yuan puts his back into it, the gag will go on easy.]

[When Blade says all that, Jing Yuan's face goes white. It's not exactly surprising, but it's such a harsh slap in the face it rattles him. For a moment, he's stunned by the rejection.

When that moment passes, he's furious.]

Since when have I been so fragile that I am better off left alone on a shelf than I am wanted and loved!?

[He uses more force than is probably necessary to get the gag on, keeping Blade down with his weight, and then takes hold of the glaive to shove it back down, heedless of any additional damage that's causing. He's aware this is all stressful as fuck for Dan Heng, but the same emotions that had Jing Yuan yelling at them before have boiled over again.]

I am Arbiter-General of the Xianzhou Luofu. I have survived things more frightening than you could ever be, and my will is a thousand times stronger than yours. You can tear me apart all you like, but you cannot break me, Yingxing!

[yeah, dan heng kind of wants to curl into a ball and die. maybe he'll go drown himself in the scalegorge. kick this particular can down the road.

jing yuan's rage is a lot to take in, but hearing blade say he broke him leaves him feeling lightheaded and brittle.

at least the gag is on. at least blade can't say anything more. but that means jing yuan is shouting at someone who can't argue back.

...it also means he has to do his part in this. jing yuan is keeping the beast horribly pinned, for him. he needs to-

dan heng hunches in on himself silently, but reaches down to try and coax his own cocks back to hardness. they have not taken this situation well.]

[but what if he did break? dan feng was the strongest person he knew but love was not enough for him to stay. love was never enough. love was a sick joke with a sharp edge whetted on his endless begging: please don't go. please let me go. please...

blade would not have known how to articulate this even without the gag. he goes down heavy against the floorboards, scrabbling against starfall reverie fruitlessly. his face is wet with salt, wounded, animal sounds crawling up his throat, but he keeps on trying to - reach for jing yuan. touch him.]

Stay down, you old fool. We're going to help you, like it or not.

[God this is painful. He's so! Mad!! Blade looks utterly pathetic right now, but Jing Yuan can't help but think that's not fair. Why can this man not just decide whether he wants to be here or not!?

...On the other hand, Jing Yuan loves Blade too much to go cold when he's so sad. He gives him one of his hands to hold, at least, as he looks over at Dan Heng.

Ah... they're all a mess, huh?]

...I'm sorry. Come here?

[the noises are terrible. at some point even the habitual stoicism of a high elder failed dan heng, and there are tears running down his face. he's still scared to make a sound. but he folds forward to tuck his face into jing yuan's shoulder, needy.]

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