headlocked | high cloud disaster ot3 shit

[blade holds the both of them like this: their faces turned towards him, watching their pleasure avidly, a sight-memory he had long consigned to the mara.

dan heng’s scream, in particular sounds exactly the same when stabbed. he strokes dan heng through his orgasm cruelly, wanting him to never forget this moment.

and speaking of want. he shakes jing yuan a little, with the hand in his hair, tipping his face upwards.]

Look at me. [he knows he’s going to be paying for this later in some way, but, in a haughty tone that comes so easily to him it feels like coming home.] A-Yuan.

[It's feeling Dan Heng clench around him that actually makes him come, but Blade's bullying certainly helps. He's not as loud as Mr. Screamy here but he's still loud, clinging to them desperately as he spills into Dan Heng.

He does, as commanded, make eye contact with Blade the whole time. Hearing him call him that, in that tone, in this moment... it's incredibly hot, but it also punches him right in seven centuries of loneliness, so. Congratulations Blade, you've made Jing Yuan cry. Just not quite in the way you intended to.]

[Mr. Screamy would like to get off this wild ride. or stop getting off? he's beyond oversensitive, scream itself petering out into keening whines as he tries to squirm away from Blade's hand, like he's not very much speared on their cocks. feeling that burst of heat deep inside him, he clumsily grabs for one of jing yuan's hands, seeking... some kind of comfort. giving? taking? unclear.]

[whoa wait he didn’t expect that. blade is very good at some things but unfortunately comfort is not one of them. he doesn’t think he actually remembers how.

first, he lets go of dan heng: wipes his hand on the nearest fabric-like object (that might be dan heng’s sleeve), pressing an automatic kiss to one of his horns. slowly pulling out (fuck your stupid cock ring, dan heng) to let him bask in his afterglow.

he then. kind of just looks at dan heng. can you tell him what to do he is really ????? blade finally just … tentatively puts a hand ? on jing yuan’s jaw?]

I- What’s wrong? [on a lesser man that tone might be called a little panicky.] Jing Yuan?

[Jing Yuan shakes his head, trying his darndest to act like he is not, in fact, emotional right now. It's not very effective given he can't actually stop crying, but clearly his dumb feelings aren't important here so he doesn't want to acknowledge them.

Instead he gives Dan Heng's hand a squeeze, and uses his free hand to reach around and untie the ribbon holding the vibrator in place. Then he lets go, pulls out, and awkwardly scoots away a bit to rub his face in hopes it'll quit leaking.]

Nothing... I-It's fine.

[first off, that is technically jing yuan's cock ring, thanks.

secondly, it's only his natural sturdiness as high elder (not really) (you know what i mean) that kept him from passing out up until this point, and it's awfully tempting in the wake of it.

but his keening gives way to a low moan of relief and loss, as his cocks are freed and he finds himself utterly empty. he sways, suddenly boneless, and moves to lean back against jing yuan, who is... no longer there. it is not the most graceful flop back onto the floor. after a moment to be confused about how he got here, he tips his head back (horns tapping the flooring) to examine jing yuan upside down.]

A-Yuan?

[yeah he is likely not going to be able to give blade advice on handling this one.]

…it’s just us, you fool.

[see, he came up with that after thinking for a bit, it sounds a little stilted but blade is trying his best.

he shifts over - absently looping up his hair in a bun as he does, because it’s starting to stick to his back - and he tries to make a grab for jing yuan’s wrists.

he shoots another helpless look at dan heng. do something mr. I Have A Plan.] Was it… should I not call you that?

[He flinches at the nickname even from Dan Heng, at the moment. It's not even that he dislikes it. In fact he likes it very much, it's just... too much, perhaps, now that Blade's unintentionally broken the seal on his emotions.]

No, I--

[He was at least slightly forcing the tears back. He's great at self-control. But Blade's an idiot, so when Jing Yuan's wrists are grabbed he looks up, sees the worry on Blade's face and that he's pulled his hair up, and... totally loses it.

He knew this was a bad idea!!! The worst part is that he's immeasurably happy to be with them, and that makes the pain so much worse. And thus now they've gone from "doing his best to suppress quiet tears" general to "curling in on himself with big heaving sobs" general. 700 years is a long time to bottle shit up.]

[oh fuck. that slaps the rest of the post-coital brainlessness out of his head, and he scrambles upright, twisting to tackle jing yuan in a hug.

(the insecurity isn't back yet.)]

[????????????????

he lets go of jing yuan so dan heng could do his thing. but he stays close, not only in case jing yuan needs something (?) but also because for some reason it aches to see jing yuan like this. mostly because blade doesn’t know what to do to make it stop.]

[He tenses in that hug at first, but... but ultimately he's just too overcome to resist it. He hugs Dan Heng back, burying his face in his hair as he tries to get ahold of himself already. He knows better. He can't just be a baby. He's supposed to have moved on by now.

He hasn't cried like this since it all happened.

After a moment, he blindly reaches for Blade's hand with his own. You come here and comfort him too you ass.]

[all of dan heng's personal experience with stuff like this has been comforting March from time to time. and she's a resilient girl, but it's different. he wraps himself around jing yuan, tail and arms and everything, silent. mostly because he doesn't know what to say, doesn't know why this is what broke jing yuan-- but he knows sometimes his silence can be helpful too.]

[blade goes, easily, settling against jing yuan’s back. he doesn’t hesitate before wrapping his arms around the both of them.]

You took good care of it. [it’s hard, thinking about the things he’d made as a star determined to go nova before it burnt out.] The guandao I made you.

Stop.

[He protests miserably, trembling as he slowly wrestles his own emotions back down. This hurts so much. He knows he has to explain that if he wants them to understand, but he's been avoiding talking about it for so long the words get caught in his throat.]

You didn't...

[He swallows, takes a deep breath, and shoves the words past that agonizing block in his heart.]

That man is dead. All of them are dead. I can't call those names any longer... even Master is ready to let go of the past. But you-- You're here, and I'm happy, but when you talk and act like them, I--

...It's like... they're right there in front of me, and I still can't reach them. You drew that line, but you blur it when I can't. This one-way barrier of yours... is cruel.

Edited 2023-10-25 05:46 (UTC)

[dan heng flinches, all too clear from this proximity. this hot on the heels of him being absolutely wrecked, he feels too raw to do anything but grasp at his own features with his cloudhymn, stuffing his tail and horns and the rest of the aspects of his true form back into the metaphorical closet.]

You have my apologies.

Dan Heng, no-

[it's already difficult to gather his fragmented thoughts enough to answer jing yuan, but seeing, feeling, dan heng tuck himself away feels all too like dan feng hiding away from him again and maybe he does understand a little bit what jing yuan is going through.

blade pulls back, just enough so he can see both their faces. a truth for a truth, he decides.]

Yingxing was - is - the only good part of me left. If he had truly died... without him, I have nothing to offer you both.

Doesn't feel right. [he looks away, down at his hands.] If you look for him. And just find me, Jing Yuan.

Don't hide yourself, Dan Heng. That face is yours.

[It's Blade who's like 95% of the problem. And it's also Blade who just made that confession, so Jing Yuan lifts his face from Dan Heng's hair to look at him with reddened eyes and a too-cautious expression.]

...You know I've wanted Yingxing's comfort all this time. I wanted-- any of you just to acknowledge that I am still here. To--

[There's a sniffle there that he tries to suppress.]

To tell me I'll be alright. Instead I've comforted myself, all on my own, for seven centuries. And I have been alright. But lately, I... I fear I'll be following in Master's footsteps before long. So-- If you'll continue to be honest with me, I will accept you both as those people and as the people you are now. But if you mean to stay with me, please be kind. I am wounded too. And... please don't ever leave again.

[dan heng swallows hard. frankly he looks like he's about to cry. but he lets go of his cloudhymn, tail and hair and all spilling free again. his tail thumps against the floor audibly as it does.]

I didn't mean to hurt you with this.

[but he can recognize that's not helpful in this moment, really. that it may even sound like he's trying to escape jing yuan's requests.]

I'll stay.

[blade thought about trying to explain how he’d spent most of that seven hundred years in a state that was not conducive to any positive emotion whatsoever, and how he was going to spend the rest of his foreseeable infinite future in the same way, but he retained enough sense, at least, to know it would not help.]

Kindness is not something I can promise. [blunt, but he reaches out, playing with the ends of jing yuan’s hair with fingers that do not feel their softness.] But I will try.

And I will outlive both of you. [the tone is matter-of-fact.] If anyone is leaving, it won’t be me.

[Sorry Blade that hand is for Jing Yuan's head now. Pet him. He's a sad baby lion. He'll shove his face into it if he's gotta.

Also Dan Heng's tail is now for cuddling like a plush.]

...Okay.

[That's the best he can ask for, Especially knowing he's the one who'll probably leave for good first. They're finally hearing him, they're willing to commit... he is, actually, extremely happy. His face is still red and blotchy and his eyes are puffy and damp, but he's largely calmed down now.]

I think... Perhaps the time has come to retire after all.

[tailcuddles... his heart is so warm, even as the reality of blade's statement chokes him. he's already died on both of them once. he'll do it to blade again. the best he can hope for is to spare jing yuan.]

...Fu Xuan will be pleased.

[his voice is thick with emotion. but he sneaks an arm around blade's waist, and curves the uncuddled portion of his tail around jing yuan.]

[???????????

blade jumps a little at dan heng touching him, like he wasn’t, you know, fucking the living daylights out of him earlier. he gets a little mad at himself for jumping, and then a little mad at himself because he immediately folds like wet tissue paper doesn’t and leans into dan heng.]

You gonna try being a Galaxy Ranger?

[that hand in jing yuan’s hair has graduated to petting him, yes, because if anything, blade really did like seeing his little cat-smile.]

Alas, the Galaxy Rangers are defunct.

[He would totally do that if he could though.

At this exact moment he can't do anything cool, though, so he's leeeaning into Blade's hand and puddling into Dan Heng's tail embrace instead. A content kitty. He does in fact make a cat face.]

I'd been thinking of getting into animal conservation. Perhaps reintroducing species locally extinct on Xianzhou ships. Or joining the Astral Express. Or both. But I'd also be content to stay in this house and live my last days as the pampered lover of two very dangerous men.

The Astral Express would be glad to have you.

[a slight, notable counterlean into blade.]

Both.

But if you choose to stay here, I will as well.

You just want another lion.

[shit, he’s so cute. which was high praise, considering blade did not have any thoughts in the vicinity of ‘cute’ unless silver wolf bewailed her fondness for fictional game characters right in his ear.

blade stares at jing yuan for about a minute before giving in and kissing that smile, one hand still resting at the small of dan heng’s back.]

I’ll come back when I can. Come home. I mean. Wherever you both are.

[whoa!!! too much emotional shit suddenly he needs to Leave. gonna go and try to stand up and umm find towels maybe Good Bye.]

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